Back to the Blog World

This evening, one of my faithful readers said, "Mom! You never write anything on your blog any more!" Not wanting to lose this reader, who may be the ONLY reader I have, I decided to post again.

First, I will give you all my lame excuses for going a month without writing:

1. I was busy. Or, at least, distracted. I was serving as general contractor for a big household make-over, involving siding, gutters, demo of a rotting back porch, rebuilding of said porch, and the very sad removal of our huge tulip tree that was deseased and threatening to fall on either the roof or the car. Although I did not do this work myself, it was surprisingly challenging to coordinate the many people who did.

2. It's hard to maintain the pretense of being a "garden blogger" when there are concrete mixers driving over your lawn and ladderjacks in your flower beds. The best I could muster up in the way of gardening was to walk around the property every evening clucking about the damage the workmen had unwittingly done.

3. Additionally, the aforementioned faithful reader moved out. I was to be the helper with this move, but within minutes of arriving at the new location I managed to fall down the rain-slicked porch steps, requiring a trip to the ER and a month of rehab on an injured rotator cuff. I don't know why, but that kind of threw me off my stride, so to speak.

All that is now behind me. The school year and choir season have resumed. There are no more excuses! It's time to get this blog going again! You can expect posts about the hymn of the week, the rehabilitation of my gardens, and the usual general musings, along with some Saturday Silliness and Sunday Strolling. I will amuse at least myself, and perhaps that one other reader.

Sunday Stroll- May 31, 2009

I didn't post a Sunday Stroll last week, but that doesn't mean I wasn't running- er, strolling! It's important to take time to stroll with a 22-month-old, so that you can be reminded of how thrilling it is to stand on the water-main cover, or drop gravel down the storm sewer grate, or giggle at each bit of cottonwood "fluff" that floats past on the the breeze. Every so often she would stop in her tracks and lift her face to the sky and say, "feelthewind?" or "hearthebird?". And, suddenly, I did feel the wind, or hear the bird. Miraculous!

But this weekend I was on my own to notice things. We have a woodpecker living on our block, now. I can hear it, but haven't yet seen it. I couldn't help thinking about how fast it hammers on the tree trunks, or how strong it's beak and skull must be to take that pounding. It's really one of the wonders of the universe, don't you think?

And, while we were gone, everything decided to burst into bloom. It was all out there for our enjoyment today.

If you go for a stroll, be sure to stop and feelthewind, and hearthebird. Oh, and throw some more gravel in the sewer grate for me will you?

To see what other strollers are noticing, visit The Quiet Country House.

Saturday Silliness

I know this may only appeal to ministry geeks, but it cracked me up. I'm dedicating this Saturday Silliness to my son Matt, who actually learned Koine Greek on his own in high school. Which prompted some eye rolling among his fellow youth group members, as you may well imagine.

Sunday Stroll- May 17, 2009

After a week of intense storms, we're having a perfect May Sunday. It's graduation weekend at the University of Illinois, as well as prom weekend for my family's high school. Those events, celebrated by several generations of my family, are forever associated with "iris time" in local gardens.

All of my irises are pass-alongs from family members. My grandmother, who was an ace gardener, made sure that when we moved to this house we would have all the beautiful flowers we wanted from her divisions. Forsythia, iris, lambs-ears, jonquils- all unnamed but much loved, have flourished in my flower beds. Now, I'm ready to share with my children as they get their own homes.

These beautiful lavender iris are from Grandma H. I've divided them and sent some on to my sisters. There are also some pale beige-y ones that you can just see in the left corner of the picture. They are not a very pretty color, I'll admit, but they have sentimental value to me, so I keep growing them. No one wants to take divisions of them, though!

These royal purple iris are from my sister's garden. She got them from a neighbor. Who needs garden stores? These are very tall and stately, and my very favorites.

Finally, there are some shorter gold and brown iris that contrast wonderfully with the purple. These are also Grandma's, and she told me they came from her mother-in-law's garden, so they are a cultivar that goes back to the late nineteenth century. It's just fun to think about the way all that gardening knowledge is passed down in the family.

To see who else is strolling, and what else is blooming, visit The Quiet Country House.

Sunday Stroll-May 10, 2009

It's "almost" time in my garden. The peonies are almost blooming.

The irises are sooooo close!

The serviceberries are forming, and almost ready to be feasted on by the birds.

The climbing rose is covered with hundreds of small buds. It will be a treat to see in a week or two.

I had a wonderful Mother's day, with half my children here for lunch (Robin, Grant, and Grant's wife Traci). The other two sons live elsewhere, but we had nice visits on the phone.

To see who else is strolling on Mother's Day, pop over to The Quiet Country House.

Follow Up On Our Green Remodel

As I wrote two weeks ago, we've been in the middle of a bathroom remodel. I loaded a picture of the "before" bathroom, and then really couldn't post it; it was just too awful! But I will show you some of the rubble that was hauled out.

Remodelling, is very difficult to do in a "green" way, though we did the best we could. We reused two mirrors in the new bathroom. We recycled every bit of cardboard, plastic and metal we could. It's truly amazing how much cardboard there was from the packing for the new elements. I purchased low-VOC paint from Home Depot that I was very pleased with, and thankful not to have that intense paint smell in the house during a week when we had to keep the house closed up tight.

Still, a lot of stuff went to the landfill: old ceramic flooring with it's cement sub-floor, some rotted wood sub-flooring (so glad we found that and could get it repaired!), wall tile and sheet rock, and the dilapidated cabinet. A lot of heat energy was lost from the house on those cold days as the remodellers ran in and out to their truck and to the back yard, where they were sawing things.

There are a lot of things I love about the "new" bathroom, but I think my favorite is the Solatube skylight. All day long the bathroom is bathed in warm light, even on the cloudiest days, and it is unnecessary to turn on a light in there at all if the sun is up.

I also am kind of amazed by the new water-saver toilet. We had one from the first generation of water-savers and it... didn't really do the job, if you know what I mean. This one is tremendously better. I did a little rough calculating and I think it should pay for itself in reduced water bills within about 15 months. Toilets are relatively inexpensive. If you can possibly do it, I would encourage you to think about replacing your current one with one of the new ones, for both financial and environmental reasons.

I learned another interesting thing during this process. It is not recommended that a Formica-type laminate counter top be used in a bathroom any more. The glues used to make them have been reformulated to make them safer, and they don't stand up to the warm, steamy environment of a bathroom. That meant I had to look at solid surface counters. I had some crazy luck- there was a pre-drilled granite counter top that was on sale so cheap (and included the sinks) that it cost less than other more plebeian choices. This was a sort of embarrassment of riches!

In the end, we wound up with this:

Our daughter, currently the main user of this bathroom, says it looks like it belongs in someone else's house, because it's "so trendy". Of course, ten years from now it will be passe and outdated, but we're not exactly slaves to fashion, so this is probably how it will look until Mike and I can't live in a house with stairs anymore. Fortunately, I'm pretty happy with it.

Our Own Stimulus Package-A Green Bathroom Remodel

Today my main bathroom is being completely gutted. Over the course of the next week, it will be transformed from a very dilapidated and dated original 1961 bathroom into something I'm actually not embarrassed to have a guest see.

I know that right now most people are pulling in their horns financially and building projects are few and far between. We did think hard before committing to the project. Our reasoning went something like this:

1. We've been planning and saving for this project for a long time, and unless something major is encountered, we should be able to complete it for cash.

2. It's not frivolous. That bathroom was truly in bad condition, with sinks and a tub that were so pitted they could not be kept clean, a water-inefficient toilet, a vanity cabinet with the veneer peeling off, medicine cabinets that wouldn't shut all the way, and an old Formica counter top that had been scrubbed so many times the finish was completely worn off. And don't even get me started on the dated colors, etc. I really don't think our home would sell at all without redoing it. We aren't planning to sell, but it's always wise to keep a house, which for most people is a one of their largest assets, in marketable condition.

3. We can keep two terrific remodelers in work, add some sales tax into our local coffers, and help keep our lumber yard, hardware store, and housewares store in business.

4. If we do our research, we could make this room more energy and water-use efficient, as well. For instance, it's a windowless room in the middle of our upstairs. My research led me to plan the instalation of a Solatube sky-light, which will bring daylight in, reducing the need for electric lighting in both the bathroom and, when the door is open, the hallway. We are also getting one of the most water-efficient toilets available (which I found on sale at a bargain-basement price!), as well as a more efficient showerhead and faucets. Even the exhaust fan will be more efficient and much more quiet.

We are also trying to send as little to the landfill as possible. We are reusing the two mirrors- they are really good ones, and new high quality mirrors are expensive. We simply removed them from the front of the old medicine cabinets, and will remount them with a frame around them. The current faucets will be used by a local mission that refurbishes substandard housing because they are only about five years old and in great condition (but won't fit in the pre-drilled holes in the new counter top). All metal items will be taken to a scrap metal yard to be recycled, and we may even get a few bucks for our trouble. All plastic will go into the recycling bin. The old shower curtain will become a drop cloth for painting. The faded old towels will be given to the homeless shelter for the men to use when they shower.

I plan to post on this project again as it finishes, to let you know how these sustainable changes go. Hopefully, I can give you a good idea that you might be able to use if you are undertaking a project like this yourself. I might even get brave enough to post "before and after" photos!

Happy "Real" Birthday, Robin!

When Robin was little, she sometimes had a joint birthday party with her brother, whose special day was only four days earlier. This was confusing to her. She would ask, "Is this my real birthday or my fake birthday?" If it was her real one, she was pretty darned excited, because when you're the fourth kid in the family, you can sometimes get lost in the shuffle.

So today, I just want to make sure she gets a little recognition on her real birthday:

Everyone looks up to you (and not just because you're so tall.) You have that natural something that makes school boards come and beg you to be their band teacher (even when you didn't apply for the job!), their favorite aunt (so willing to be led all over the house by the finger), and lifelong buddy (with good friends you've kept since middle school).

You make us all better for knowing you, Robin. Thanks for being our very best daughter!
Happy birthday!

Living With Lincoln

"Lincoln the Lawyer", by Laredo Taft, located in Carle Park, Urbana, IL

Just in time for the 200th birthday of Abraham Lincoln, I've finished reading "Team of Rivals" by Doris Kearns Goodwin. It's a long book, and I spent the better part of a month reading it. It is absolutely worth the time, and I would rank it among the very best of the biographies and histories I have read. I loved Carl Sandburg's poetic Lincoln biography. This is totally different, in that Goodwin is essentially focused on a character study not only of Lincoln, but the men he chose to serve in his cabinet. It is a thesis on leadership.


Here's the thing: I still feel immersed in this book; I still feel I am being shaped by what Goodwin revealed about these men. I feel, more than ever, that my own character will be formed by reflecting on the character of Lincoln. I'm convinced that this one individual is the greatest leader this nation has had so far.

Marker outside the Champaign County Courthouse

I say that I feel this "more than ever", because, to some degree, like many native Central Illinoisians, Lincoln has always been part of my life. Just as multi-generational New Englanders surely feel the presence and influence of those early Puritan settlers as they look around their towns, we can hardly go more than a few miles without a recognition, in some way, that Abraham Lincoln was present in our county courthouses, boarding in homes and taverns all over the area while he rode the circuit, debating Stephen Douglas at our fairgrounds, and giving campaign speeches from the back of a rail car at every little whistle-stop in the middle of the prairie.

I'm sure my fiery abolitionist ancestors here in Champaign County must have been present when he spoke at the courthouse that sits just three miles across town from my house. I'm almost certain they would have known him personally, meeting him when he was living in Urbana arguing cases, as there are records stating that they ardently campaigned for him. That family volunteered a father and three sons, as well as two sons-in-law, to fight in the Civil War. Two died; one 16 year-old was captured and sent to Andersonville Prison, from which he escaped and walked back to Illinois. They believed, like Lincoln, in the preservation of the Union and the containment and eventual elimination of slavery, and they acted upon those beliefs. They saw Lincoln as their moral leader.

170 year old coverlet from my Springfield ancestors, hanging in my stairwell

I know that my ancestors in Springfield knew the Lincolns well. My father has, stored somewhere safe, a note from a very young Abe Lincoln that is an IOU to my great-great-great grandfather for spotting him the cost of some postage. Later, when Lincoln was a lawyer in Springfield, he was a near neighbor and friend with my family, and they socialized frequently, and wrote letters when separated. I grew up being told of this relationship. My family donated the land on which Lincoln's Tomb is located, as a gesture of honor to their friend.

Abraham Lincoln isn't held up as a great man because he "just happened" to be president during the Civil War. Sesession occured between his election and his inauguration in part because he was elected, because of who he was and what he stood for. No, he is a great man because, despite the bleakest of childhoods, destitute even by frontier standards, he made something of himself, and yet never seemed to become possessed by the desire to become rich. He is great because, with less than one full year of formal schooling, he compulsively self-educated, becoming a lawyer, a congressman, and, after defeating much more highly educated men, president, and yet never seemed to value himself more than he valued others. He is great because, through the testimony of every person who ever met him, it is clear that despite a life in politics, there was never a vindictive bone in his body. He never acted out of pettiness or temper. He remained comfortable with both the commonest people and those at the highest levels of the social order. He respected and loved people with whom he disagreed vehemently. He pondered his major decisions at length, and then, once he made them, never second-guessed himself.

I'm sure that I have never met or known of a person like that in this day and time. The other great men of his time, despite tremendous accomplishments, simply were never his equals, and they readily admitted that fact.

One of the hardest things about reading "Team of Rivals" was knowing what was coming at the end. Throughout the book, admiration and love for Lincoln grow in the reader; but he's going to be assassinated. You know that. When it comes, it is still stunning, staggering.

Read this profound book about this unparalleled life. Surely there isn't any American whose life is more suitable for pondering.

In the Bleak Midwinter

A couple of weeks ago, housebound by some terrible weather and feeling a little stupefied by the lack of sunlight, I remember thinking "I feel like nothing changes. I'm tired of everything-weather, house, yard, job, clothes- you name it!" I posted my FaceBook status: "Ready for a trip to the Bahamas, but don't think that will be happening any time soon." In a running joke with my husband, we keep track of the days when the windchill is below zero, issuing "Frozen Booger Alerts". This winter has been a doozey! Fourteen alerts so far.

Do you ever feel that it's harder to do the same thing day in and day out, than to do something stressful and different all the time? I think persevering, when there is no adrenalin rush, no sense of urgency, no variety of any kind, is the most difficult kind of endurance to pursue.

I don't get like that very often, but that day I let myself wallow in the gloom for a few hours. Then I gave myself a good shake. What was so terrible about being precisely where I was? I needed to quit being such a slug.

Since then, here's what has happened: we finally started the bathroom remodelling job for which we've been saving and planning a long time (more on that in another post); I've found about 30 of my college friends through FaceBook, and we are going to have a reunion in February; and, we've been blessed with a new grandson, who we will get to see for the first time next week!

That's a lot! I thrive on projects, the more complicated the better, and that bathroom remodel is definitely going to take a lot of attention. The college girl friends have been a constant source of amusement; I so look forward to opening my laptop every day and seeing who has written me. The reunion dinner will be a blast. And the grandson! How can you beat that for a positive change in one's life?

All of this is to say, if your feeling stuck, just wait a bit. Things change. Good stuff happens. Spring will come soon!

Challenge Update

Between trying to get Abe Lincoln through the Civil War in "Team Of Rivals", and allowing the live coverage of the impeachment trial in our state Senate to distract me from my housework, I'm not getting much blogging done. I have been working on the Food Waste Reduction Challenge, though, and I thought I should post a quick update.

My family is reasonably on board with this one, especially my husband, who is notorious for eating just about anything. My daughter is a bit more selective, but has helped finish up a few of my "messes".

I thought last night's supper was a genuine success. I had the following things that needed to be used before they went south: several slices of roast beef left from Sunday dinner, four cloves of fresh garlic that were starting to shrivel, a handful of raw baby carrots that looked suspicious, about 1/4 c. uncooked brown Minute Rice, and a cup or so of uncooked barley.

I diced up the beef, garlic, and carrots, plus an onion. In a pot with some water (sorry, I don't know how much water- maybe 6 cups?) I cooked that with the rice and barley, along a can of beef broth, the last three cubes of beef bullion, and a can of stewed tomatoes in vegetable broth.

This made a beef and barley soup that was great! It was rich and thick, not quite a stew, and just the right combination of flavors. The three of us ate heartily at supper, and there were two good sized helpings left over for lunches.

Usually, those carrots would have sat in the fridge until they were relegated to the compost heap. The roast was very good meat, but what was left had a couple of streaks of gristle that kept it from being good for sandwiches, so that might have been wasted, too. I'm pretty pleased that we made such good use of this food.

Taking On The Food Waste Reduction Challenge

I've signed up for The Food Waste Reduction Challenge being sponsored by The Crunchy Chicken blog. Here's the funny thing: I had decided to go easy on the challenges this year, especially if they were things that involved other household members having to get on board with me to do them. Just because I'm interested in something, doesn't mean I should be twisting their arms to do it too.

But right after the holidays I had begun thinking about how I could get back to some of my old habits of frugal cooking, both to save money, and to show my daughter how to do some of it before she moves out. She's a good cook in her own right, but it's been a while since she saw me serve some of the very basic cheap meals I used to make when I was feeding the whole hungry tribe. She might benefit from a review, and I would like to save money towards some home improvements, etc. So, this challenge just kind of dovetails with some thinking I'd already been doing.

The main purpose of the challenge is to make sure you don't let things spoil, or wind up throwing food out. Crunchy has some statistics on her blog that I had seen before that are kind of appalling. If you click on the button in my sidebar you can read the article. Americans throw out so much food it's ridiculous! We are so fortunate that we can generally afford to do this, but isn't it just kind of immoral, in a way, when there are hungry people in the world? If we were more careful, and spent less on food, we could be giving more to those less fortunate, even those right here in town. Our church has a food pantry, and makes deliveries to hungry people all the time. I could give more to that, if I spent less on our own food.

Even though the challenge doesn't start officially until February, I'm ready to get going on it. Today, I went through my big pantry cabinet and made a list of every single thing in there, including the approximate amount of each item. How did we wind up with three open boxes of graham crackers? Or that can of beets? (Now that one will be a tough sell. Why did I buy it?)

I also looked through the fridge and found a few strange orphans in the very back- a big jar with one large pickle, several yogurts that have been there a while because they were too hard to see behind other things. I did some rearranging. Fortunately, nothing's too spoiled to use, if I get busy.

Then I sat down and, using the list, came up with some dishes that could be made without having to go to the store for more ingredients. It's a little bit of a strange mixture of things, but we really could eat pretty well for almost two weeks with out grocery shopping at all! After that, there would be a few items needed to complete ingredients for a few more dishes. I'd like to eat it all up, until the cabinets and fridge are basically bare, and then start from scratch to restock with a better mix of things. I'll keep you posted on how this goes.

So, look out, family! You may be seeing some "Dinner Surprises" coming your way! Keep the groaning to a minimum please.

Saurday Silliness-The Mom Song

I Hope Yours Was As Wonderful As Mine

It's been a busy but joyful Christmas, with a house full of family; two church services on Christmas Eve; a day of visiting, gifts and dinner at my sister's home; and the fun of chasing a little 16-month-old whirlwind through the house. Four generations celebrated together. We even held a 21st birthday party for our niece, who was a Christmas Day gift all those years ago!

I'm exhausted, but I'll come out of hiding to wish you all a happy holiday season.

Book Review- "The More-With-Less Cookbook" by Doris Janzen Longacre

As our economic crisis deepens, and frugality has become the mode, I've thought more and more that I should post a review of "The More-With-Less Cookbook", by Doris Janzen Longacre.

As a young mom, living on a shoestring budget, and trying to learn how to cook from the large vegetable garden I grew to help feed my family, I came to rely on this remarkable little volume, with it's garden-to-table recipes, and instructions that emphasized cooking "from scratch". As a Christian, trying to align my lifestyle with the doctrine of justice for the poor, I loved it's emphasis on consuming only our fair share of the planet's resources, so that we could not only control our own budget, but have enough to give and share with others.

Amazingly, it's still in print, and available through Amazon.com, though Doris Janzen Longacre died of cancer in 1979, shortly after the publication of her second book, "Living More With Less". Both of these books were very influential for me, and have continued to color the way I look at homemaking over the years.

Longacre was commissioned by the Mennonite Central Committee to use her background as a dietitian to collect recipes and ideas from the world-wide Mennonite community and adjust those recipes to reflect contemporary nutritional research and food justice issues. Many of the recipes submitted by the mostly agrarian Mennonites were heavy on sugar and fat. Longacre experimented to readjust them so that the well-loved family dishes could be enjoyed just as much, but with healthier ingredients. She collected many meatless dishes, reflecting our growing understanding of the impact of raising livestock on our environment. She gave good, clear teaching regarding moving away from a meat-heavy diet while maintaining good nutrition. At the same time, she managed to celebrate the Swiss-German and Russian culture at the heart of the Mennonite denomination, and elevate the custom of unpretentious hospitality.

I practically wore this book out! It was my essential guide for learning to cook for my growing family for years. In pulling it out to reread the other day, I was flooded with memories of days in our kitchen, surrounded by small children who always wanted to stand on a chair next to me and "watch" as I worked with produce from the garden, or bulk items from a foster parent's food co-op we were part of, or the bags and bags of apples from a second cousin's orchard. Many a dollar was stretched, many a tummy was filled, based on the information and recipes found in this wonderful cookbook.

I hope that you will find a copy of "The More-With-Less Cookbook" and read it, really read it, and absorb the wonderful spirit of Longacre and the Mennonite cooks who submitted recipes to this collection. It has a place in every kitchen where the cook(s) are focused on meals made with love.

Buckeyes

Abbie over at Farmer's Daughter has a meme going with Christmas cookie recipes. I don't usually do a lot of extra baking at this time of year, because my work schedule is so crazy, but we usually do get the Buckeyes made. We make a big project of it, and then take some to neighbors and friends, keeping plenty for treats around the holiday time when we have a houseful of family visiting. They disappear pretty quickly!

Here's our recipe:

3 lbs. powdered sugar
1/2 bar of paraffin
2 lbs. chunky style peanut butter
3 T. vanilla
1 lb. butter or margarine
2 12 oz. packages of semi-sweet chocolate chips

Mix peanut butter and room-temperature butter together well
Add the vanilla, and cream together
Gradually mix in the powdered sugar
Roll into balls. ( I try to keep them about 1 inch in diameter)

Melt chocolate chips and paraffin together in a double boiler.
Using toothpicks, dip the peanut butter balls 2/3 of the way into the chocolate.
Place on wax paper to harden.

In the end, these should look just like the buckeyes you find in the woods. I think that's one reason we like them so well.

Enjoy!!

Another Thankful Post

I meant to write a post about how thankful I am for my husband back during November, and somehow got distracted and didn't do it. And yes, that's a classic case of taking someone for granted if I ever heard one!

This is shaping up to be a busy day, and I can't spend much time writing, but I didn't want to go any longer with out expressing my thankfulness for my husband, to whom I've been married 31 years. Lots of years, lots of kids, lots of pow-wows about money, disciplining children, where to go on vacation, whether to stop and ask directions, what color to paint the kitchen. We haven't lived an eventful life by some people's standards, but there are a million "uneventful" events that come along in 31 years, and it takes a lot of commitment to get through all of them. We have that commitment.

I'll just give you a couple of examples from the last two days.

First: Although he really of prefers contemporary style worship, which he could attend at the same time my traditional service is going on, he comes to the service I am in as a show of support. We can't sit together; I'm up on the platform and he's down in the pews, but he knows how the service went, what was sung, what was said in prayer- in other words, we worshipped together, and we experienced life together. So, I'm thankful that he will sacrifice his own preference to do that with me.

Second: When, yesterday, I had one of those typical run-ins with someone who thought I should be doing things differently, he gave me a big hug and said, "I still love you!". Which, of course, was exactly what I needed!

Third: This morning he left for work before I did, as usual. Pretty soon I got a call from him. He wanted me to be aware that we had had some freezing rain, and it was a glaze of ice out there. I should be careful walking to the crossing, and give the cars plenty of time to stop. (He often jokes that he has a wife that stops traffic!) It was really nice of him to do that. I could easily have gone down just stepping out onto our front stoop.

It's the little things like that that are more meaningful than grand gestures, in my opinion. I'm thankful for 31 years with someone who knows that.

Thankful For Battle Scars That Tell Of A Battle Won

Thursday, as we drove to my sister's house, we used the time in the car to make some holiday phone calls. My husband talked to his mother, who lives in Florida. One son was with his in-laws across the state. Another lives too far away to make it back very often. It was good to check in with everyone, catch up on each other, and wish them a happy Thanksgiving. So, one thing I'm thankful for is cell phones! Between that and e-mail, we have been able to stay connected so much more easily than families could years ago.

When I called Paul, who lives pretty far away, I joked, "I'm calling to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and see if you're thankful for anything." Without a moment's hesitation, he started listing things off: his wife, his baby, the baby on the way, his job, his church, that his car was running well currently. "I have a lot to be thankful for," he said. " I'm thankful that I can pray, and I know God hears me!" As we talked, I asked him if I could write a little about him on this blog. He assured me that would be fine.

Paul is such a kind, easy going person. His bosses have told him that they think he will eventually make a good foreman, because he handles people so well. He was like that as a little boy, too.

Then, for a few years, he wasn't like that at all. For what ever reason, whether it was to individuate from family members, or to self-medicate the school stress he felt as a person with ADD, or just the rebellion against authority that some children carry so much further than others, Paul made some pretty bad choices for a while as a teen. What others dabbled with, he made his full time job. When I say that we are glad he lived to be grown, it's not a joke. We really didn't know for a while if he would live to be grown. No amount of treatment, counseling, discipline, whatever, seemed to make a difference with him. Finally, on the New Year's Eve when others were celebrating the turn of the millennium, I found myself standing by a gurney in the emergency room, watching him being treated for an overdose. He was sixteen.

I know what it's like to battle a teen who can't listen to you. I know what it's like to go toe-to-toe with the Devil as you wrestle in prayer for your child's life. I know what it's like to look Evil in the eye and say "YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!" I knew that, in the end, it was between Paul and God as to whether he would come out on the other side. I just wanted him to live long enough to get to that point.

When Paul told me the thing he is most thankful for is that he has the Holy Spirit living inside of him, changing him into a new man day by day, I knew I couldn't write a month of posts about thankfulness without saying that, looking back over my life, that is one of the things I am absolutely the most thankful for.

I'm also thankful that, when I get a hunch that there is a parent who is struggling with their child the way we did with our child, I can listen to them, and, not really advise them, so much as offer understanding. And, I can offer them hope. Paul's story is proof of the power of God to change a person from the inside out.

It's all in the past now, and gradually the ripples from that rock that was thrown into the waters of our lives are dissipating. It's nearly ten years since Paul decided to quit running from God, and turned to run just as hard toward Him. His teen aged behavior is not at all what defines him any more. Those who meet him now would never have an inkling of what he suffered through in his youth. He is a mature man, a great husband and dad, a hard working, responsible contributor to society. As far as Christian life witness goes, he's the real deal.

And me? I'm just thankful.

Thankful For Family Traditions

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today as my family gathers, we will share a story that I have related once before on this blog. As a reminder of how we can build values into the lives of our families, I will publish it here again:

One Swiss-German branch of my family settled near Springfield, IL in the 18oos, and there is a story about them that has been told in my dad's family for generations around the Thanksgiving table. In the story, the father (who was also a minister in their little church) and the boys were out working about the farm place, and the mother, daughters (among them my great-great grandmother), and smaller children were in and around the house. There had been rumors floating about for several days that there were Indians in the area, and every one was nervous about safety. It was early spring and the father was doing early field work, when his son ran to him and said that there was an Indian standing at the edge of the woods, watching them. The father told his son to run back to the house and have the family gather in the house and shut the door. The son asked the father if he should load the gun they had in the house. The father said no. He was going to talk to the Indian, if he could, and God would protect him.

The family shut themselves in the house and were very worried. The father was gone a long time. When he finally returned, his first words on entering the house were, "Children, go down in the cellar and bring up everything that's left of the food." Then he turned to his wife and said, "They don't want to hurt anyone. They're starving, and we are going to feed them." With his family's help, he loaded their wagon with everything they had left in the cellar, and drove it down to where the Indians were camped by the river, and gave it all to them.

As best I can tell, this is a Trail of Tears story. At least my ancestors were able to mitigate that evil to some degree.

My great-great grandmother was just a little girl when she witnessed this, but it was one of her strongest memories. She would recount it at Thanksgiving dinner, and always ended by saying something like, "You never know who might need your help, so keep watch. Never be selfish. You should always share with anyone who is in need. Even though we gave all the food away, we some how had enough to eat until the garden came in. That's how we learned to be thankful for what we had."

Isn't that a great story? I've never been asked to give everything I have for sustenance away to some one in need, and then rely on God to fill in the gaps. But at least I have that story as an example to me that it can, and should, be done.

The 30 Day Thanksgiving Challenge

Thankful For An (Almost!) Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving

I'm looking forward to tomorrow! We are driving for a couple of hours to the home of one of my sisters, where she is hosting Thanksgiving. Her two young adult children will be there, as will another sister and her husband and daughter, my parents, and my husband and I with two of our children. There will be lots of great food, good catching-up conversation, probably some game-playing, and a joint kitchen clean-up after dinner. Though the location rotates around, the routine and traditions remain pretty much the same from year to year. I've been asked to bring my famous Philly Corn again. Yes, even the menu stays consistent.

Nan had a post up earlier this week that reminded me that not everyone looks forward to family gatherings and overeating. Some of her commenters agreed; they preferred finding congenial friends to visit with over family that was critical or dysfunctional. Others use this time to travel, or find a restaurant meal more inviting than marathon cooking sessions. Even those of us who choose a more Norman Rockwell-style Thanksgiving will often be spending time with folks we see only a couple of times a year, which can lead to potential relational stress.

How to approach that? I'm choosing engagement over avoidance. In our family, we do have a few topics we steer clear of (politics and religion!- though we've broken that rule a few times).
We try to adjust to the home that is hosting. We all offer to bring food. Nobody drinks too much.
We help with clean-up. We don't stay too long! It's been rare that we didn't leave feeling that we had a good time.

I saw a good piece of advice today, that was reminder that family is where we learn to deal with people:

"Envision your family situation as an inspiring growth challenge. If one of your spiritual goals in life is to learn patience, compassion, forgiveness, or serenity, your difficult family members can give you some wonderful “feel the burn” workouts! It’s no sweat to be patient, compassionate, forgiving, or serene with people who aren't in your family, but if you can learn to do it with your most irritating blood relatives, then in looking back at your life you will definitely be able to say you’ve done some crucial inner work on your spiritual journey."
Make Peace With Your Family

Fortunately, this is the approach my family has always taken (not that anyone is too terribly hard to deal with). So, today I'm thankful for the chance to engage with, and enjoy, our family at holiday time!

The November 30 Day Thanksgiving Challenge